It never fails that as soon as I head into my studio to clean up from a session that the kids join me and take full advantage of the left over props. This last session – I brought in balloons. Carefully hidden away from my two year old until after the session – she was giddy with excitement when she saw them tonight. Giddy enough… to eat her dinner , take a bath, clean up her toys and brush her teeth. By the end of the night she had earned all of the balloons. I think it is time to invest in a helium tank.
Archive for August, 2011
Ok – so I really don’t have idle time as this new gig has become a full time deal. But as I was planning out a newborn shoot that is just around the corner – I came up with this fun idea. I immediately phoned a friend who had a baby 2 months ago. Do you have a bathing suit for your daughter??? Her response…”not yet – but they are on SALE!” So I frantically ran into Wal-mart – praying that they still had floats out at the end of the summer. Thankfully – there it was – CLEARANCE!! Now fingers crossed – that they have one small enough for a 2 month old…. DING DING DING!!! Now you may be wondering why I wouldn’t just do this for my newborn shoot…. but I have learned the hard way – not to try new ideas, new blankets, new fabrics without running a test run..TEST RUN was a success – I love how this shot turned out.
ok – I am trying to slow down a little and start enjoying this ride I am on. With that said – I love I heart faces and wanted to join in this competition. This photo was taken in an attempt to freeze time and capture the love these children have for their dog. Diagnosed with a terminal cancer, Molly didn’t have many days left. When the family called and asked if I could come over and take some photos before she passed, I rushed right over. This photo has always stood out as one of my favorites.
Hayden going into first grade has kinda knocked me in the gut. By now, back to school clothes are purchased and new backpacks have been picked out. Normally a back to school party is thrown to celebrate the class of 2023. This year however – I was not prepared – which has made it harder for me to accept that my little guy is heading into the first grade. Seeing how much he changed last year. Evolving from my baby to a little boy who calls me dude, says “AWESOME” – Gives his friends wedgees, makes arm fart noises…. not to mention the two teeth he lost. So when I finally took a break from editing yesterday – I ran to the stores filled with mom guilt/ anxiety. I MUST find him new clothes, He needs a new backpack and as we sat down for dinner – the waterworks started. As he snuggled in close to me while he ate his sliders – I knew that our time is running short. Soon he will be too cool to snuggle me… desperate to be bigger then he needs to be.
So this morning it was no surprise that Hayden could not wait to get school. I tried to get him to slow down and eat breakfast. THAT didn’t happen, I tried to get a photo..I got it – but he wasn’t happy about it. As we walked into his classroom – it became even more chaotic. Apparently as we made it through the hallways – my fancy sunglasses broke. As I grabbed Emerson – Dan went to go find the piece. ..Emerson starts screaming that she wants BoBos popcorn, My dress that ties around my neck is getting looser which is becoming way too low cut for this mama to be comfortable . I bend down to look at Emerson and my MONSTER camera knocks her in the head. MORE TEARS!!! Emerson throws her apple. By the time – the LaBianca Tornado leave – I feel that I have sufficiently embarrassed my child enough – no time for tears. As I peek through the window – Hayden is making a silly face with his friend and doesn’t even know that we have left. …and life goes on….
After grabbing my kids bright and early and running to the beach to check out lighting for a photo shoot – I promised a doughnut run on our way home. Looking like one frazzled mom, I walked into Dunkin Doughnuts with a half dressed 2 year old squirming to get out of my arms and my 6 year old asking over and over again ”Mom can I have a Gatorade” . As I was paying for my order – a lady looked at me and quietly said – “That was the best time of my life”. She said it with such sadness that it hit my core. Is this it?? Is this the best time of my life? I know I am absolutely in love with everything about my life. Great husband, amazing kids, supportive and loving friends, nice home, annoying dog….. you get it -things are just simple and good. So maybe this is the best time of my life. It is so crazy to think back to the early years where I was so desperate to be 16.. which quickly became ” OHHHH, I can’t wait to be 21″ Then life became about trying to figure out who I was in my 20′s, let me tell you how fun that era was. Finally my bright light, at 27 I met my man. Soon the “time dance” reared its ugly head again and life became ” I can’t wait to get married” and then we were married and “I can’t wait to have kids”… and as we painfully struggled through invitro…. I remember saying ” I just want to fast forward time so that I have all of my kids in my arms” . I now sit at the ripe old age of 37 trying to strike a deal with Father Time to just slow down a little bit, (apparently he doesn’t take bribes.) I know that in a blink of an eye – the best time of my life – will soon turn into the best time of my childrens life. So what can I do but try to absorb all that is great in my life. My son is going into first grade today, my daughter sleeping in a big girl bed and waking us up every morning screaming at the end of our bed “MOP, I found you” ( still not quite sure why she calls me Mop, and not quite sure why I love it so much), them both waking up at 4:30 this morning and climbing into my bed..only to have the annoying dog jump up and take the last bit of free space.. Even potty training has me giggling as Emerson is so proud of the trickle. Something so simple but yet monumental in her short little life. Best time of my life……ABSOLUTELY!! Will I regret not appreciating how special this time is? Never. I now believe that the sadness I heard in her voice on that early morning was that she didn’t realize that being a mom was the best time in her life .Maybe she had wished potty training would go faster and that the kids would just stay in their beds so she could sleep. Maybe she couldn’t wait for her son to go to first grade because then she would have more “me time” and in the end, the best time of her life simply just passed her by.
When Hayden was born and we found out that he had bleeding disorder, I went into protection mode. For his first 3 years of his life – I wanted NO ONE to know. That sounds silly doesn’t it. But I needed to figure out how to raise my son to be strong and brave and since this was a new world for me – I didn’t want people to feel sorry for us or worry about him. A typical fear that people have is that he would bleed to death. I also knew that it was human nature for people to want to gossip about other peoples hardships and it disgusted me. I didn’t want my son to be the subject of that type of gossip. I needed his life to be normal….or maybe I was just wishing my life would go back to normal. I remember calling Children Protective Service in tears. I had just read an article that said parents of children with hemophilia are normally seen as child abusers b.c of the bruising that the children have on them. In tears, I pleaded for them to put my name in a system that would say the Hayden had Hemophilia and that his mom would never hurt a single hair on his body – for he was her life. They didn’t do it…and I cried the entire day . I came up with different ideas that would allow Hayden to grow up in a world where he didn’t think he was sick. Against the dr. suggestions we had a port placed before his first bleed. They wanted to see how he would bleed first. I couldn’t understand what the point was. Wasn’t it my job to protect him from ALL bleeds. We call his medicine powerboost since I decided that if we called it medicine he would naturally think he was sick. While holding my breath – I let him climb those stairs to the slide and hoped that he wouldn’t fall. We don’t use the word Hemophiliac. I personally despise the word. Hayden is NOT a hemophiliac. He is a little boy, with BIG BROWN eyes and freckles… and he has hemophilia.I have kept my fears close to my heart.. and allowed Hayden to be Hayden ..skinned knees and all. Well, we are now 6 years into this journey and I can’t begin to tell you all that I have learned. With only small speed bumps in the road, we have been blessed. I am now confident that we have raised a strong boy who is not defined by anything other then his sweet nature, silly laugh, and love of legos. With that said, soon we will be entering a new phase of this journey. Today we had his port checked out and it looks like it is coming to the end of it life span.We will be soon be removing his port and we (my husband ) will start to learn how to infuse him through his veins. To say that we are scared – is a complete understatement. Lets put it this way, It took two of us to infuse him for 3 years b.c he wouldn’t sit still for a stick to his port. By keeping our journey such a private part of our lives it is hard for people to truly understand what we go through. I asked Hayden if I could take his pictures today as I am ready to start sharing this part of our lives with everyone. You have seen photos of my boy and have seen his love for life. Today his tears fell and as I held his hand and put my head on his head- I whispered that he was the bravest boy I know …and that he is – My little lego architect.
Photos were shot from the hip – so not perfectly composed. I didn’t want Hayden to think I was documenting his sadness and fear.
I have had a number of people say that I am obsessed (Josh Pregram). The thing is – that I am and I am ok with it. L.L.P is my baby – born from my passion – that was only unearthed when I found the confidence to start my own business. What I have become really obsessed with are the eyes. As soon as I heard the word catchlight , I was hooked. Even today , when my friend Angie came to drop my son off and we were chatting about our vacations…. I found myself admiring her beautiful catchlights… wishing I had my camera so that I could take her photo. Maybe this is a sickness – and if that is the case , I hope I never find the cure. Here are some of my favorite portrait shots.
The first one is one of my faves b.c you can see the sun rising in her eyes.