So truth be told. I started writing this letter to you while we were sitting in Chic-fil-a. I was watching you and Emerson play and the words just started flowing. I was afraid I would forget what I wanted to say to you  - so I started to write it in a text on my phone…Here is what I wrote on that day while I watched you play.

Sometimes I just look at you and can’t believe your mine. For the first couple of years of your life, I took credit for how good you were….it must be my parenting…but the reality is that you are good because it is just who you are at the core. When you were born – (all 9 lbs. 6 oz. of you) you challenged me in such a way that I had never imagined. As you slumbered peacefully in my arms, my tears fell on you. I mourned the broken expectations that I had. I cried for the life that I thought you were destined to live. A life filled with hospital stays and pain. At that time the word hemophilia was so new to us. As your daddy and I laid in that hospital bed we laughed through tears that you would be the best dart thrower, as we tried to think of the things you would be able to do.  We made plans on how to pad the house and I searched the internet (and bloomingdales) for clothes that had padding in them. One time I found a pair of pants that had zippers in the knees so that I could put sponges in them to protect you knees. … I called  every store in the US to buy you a pair for each year of your life. I think I ended up with 11 (you have worn them only once). I still remember the very moment where I saw you as more then just my son with hemophlia. You were two months old and you looked up and smiled at me…..that was all it took – I was yours. On that day – I vowed to stop crying… and to move forward. If I didn’t stop feeling sorry for myself …how could I expect to raise a son who didn’t feel sorry for himself. You challenged me to let go of all those expectations and embrace the today that we were given. I let go of expectation for a cure. I let go of the fear of the unknown and in turn embraced this life with all that I have. And here you are – my beautiful 6 year old. You are my gift!

You are obsessed with everything Legos – how you manage to put them together and then keep them together is impressive. You and your daddy are the very best of friends. You two sit and watch sports together and are in absolute hysterics when the e-trade baby commercial comes on. … ohh and that laugh…You have a laugh that I wish I could bottle up and hear on days where laughter seems so far away.

You have been playing soccer and swimming for 3 years now – and while you are not the best one on the team.. you have the heart of a winner. You love school and my heart swells with pride when I see you jump out of the car with barely a goodbye to me, because you can’t wait to call to to a friend you see in the distance. As a mom there is nothing that feels as good as seeing your kids succeed. My only hope for you as you grow up is to stay true to who you are b.c you are fantastic.

As I tucked you in bed tonight we talked about life. You have decided that on my next birthday that I will start going backwards in age … so that I won’t grow old. You tell me tonight that you will be the man of the house. I ask you who you are going to marry and without blinking an eye you say “Emerson”. At which point you quietly say ” I really like that sunshine song”… I haven’t sang it to you in a while b.c I thought you didn’t like it anymore now that you are a big boy…. but apparently you aren’t too old for me to “tickle this back” and sing You are my sunshine.

Eyes are the windows to the soul! There was a time in my life where I was so unsure of myself that I was afraid to really look people in the eyes b.c I was afraid that they would see how fragile I was on the inside. Thank god those  days are far behind me…Now I can’t stop staring in peoples eyes and find myself saying on a regular basis how beautiful  my friends  (and strangers) eyes are.  It is like an eye addiction.  I am obsessed with catchlights.  What are catchlights you ask?? That is when the light hits the eye and makes them sparkle. I didn’t even  know what catchlights were 5 months ago. The natural assumption is that to get the light in the eyes is that you must be in the sun……….WRONG. In order to capture those catchlights you must find some open shade. Think of an open garage, open front door …. so you kids can look at the light  but aren’t blinded by it. So all you moms out there desperate to get those catchlights – put your kids in front of a window (with them facing it) or open the garage and have them stand looking out at the sunlight (make sure they are not in the sunlight) and start snapping!!!!

Taken in my entry way with the front door open

I took the one below (unedited) while in carpool waiting to get my son. Your car is another perfect place to practice…just keep your sunroof closed.

When you get brave enough start looking for open shade while at the park or in your backyard. Learning this one trick will get you on the right track to getting fantastic family photos that you will cherish forever.

Over spring break my amazing sister-in-law came into town with her 4 kids.  Now that would be enough to throw anyone over the edge…. until you meet my sister-in-law. I am not quite sure how she does it – but she has always been one of those moms who just has it all together. My brother travels all the time and works late – so she is basically doing it her self. Her house is ALWAYS organized her kids are calm and well- behaved. There is just a sense of order in her house… and the best is that she does it in a non-obsessive way. She isn’t that crazy mom who doesn’t let her house get dirty… she is just like a stealth machine in the way she picks up everything. Her twins are always matching… I can barely match my  sweet girls pajama tops to her bottoms. I am constantly amazed at the way she runs her household and wish that I had the patience that she has raising her kids. We had some time (go figure) to take some shots of the kids while they were here and I loved the way they turned out. We don’t get to see them as often as we like and my son said this morning that he wishes Connor and Parker  were his brothers…..hmmmmmm….maybe it is time to jump on that baby train one more time and give Hayden one more sibling.

In a world that moves at such a fast pace it is easy to overlook the simple things like a bowl of cereal. This was more than a bowl of cereal as I watched behind the lens as my determined little 2 year old mastered the art of using a spoon. Since I have started my business, I have challenged myself to look beyond the obvious and pay attention to the little details of life. Someday this little girl will be mastering things like potty training, learning to ride a bike, learning how to roller skate (do kids still do that). She will plead with me to get her ears pierced, which eventually turns into pleading to wear make-up. I can hear her now, “It’s just lip gloss, Mom… EVERYONE is wearing it at school except for me”….. “ITS NOT FAIR!!!”  (slam the door ).  And with complete certainty, I will still be there behind my lens capturing those moments as my little girl grows up . Life moves fast..so enjoy those little details.

I am not quite sure what that means but all this time I was under the impression that the “Cousin Moni” was our cousin. Come to find out that she is our second cousin once removed.After years of teasing us with dreams of moving to Texas,they  finally did it and moved here about 2 months ago. Mix a little flu season with a little ice storm and it has taken this long for us to get out to Keller. I am excited to find out it is only about a 35 minute drive and is really close to Fancy  Schmancy Southlake Mall but I am more excited to have a cousin (even if she is once removed) to be living nearby. Dan and I LOVE family and for years I have had twinges of jealousy upon hearing that our NY family was getting together to watch Survivor or have a BBQ but now I get to do that….well maybe not the survivor part – but the BBQ part- Definately! One of the coolest part of today was checking out their collection of vintage cameras, turntable and this typewriter. Come to find out this was Omas (second cousins once removed 99 year old grandma). Oma is quite possibly the coolest 99 year old I have ever met -ok  so I don’t know ALOT of 99 year olds but even if I did Oma would still be the Tops! She wrote her memoir on this typewriter which makes this typewriter so much cooler.

Those who know me, know I love being pregnant . So I have a tendency to talk to anyone who is pregnant. I love  asking the typical questions … How far along they are?  Do they know what they are having? Do they have names?  I think it is one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life – that I just can’t help myself .  So when I met Heather on the first day of Emersons swim class – I was so excited to talk “pregnancy” with her. I mentioned that I had just started a business and she said she had her maternity shoot lined up with a friend. As she inched towards her looming due date – I asked her how her shoot went. It had hit a snag as her photographer had to have an emergency surgery. So I said – Check out my website and see what you think …. She liked, we did and I love.

Thanks Heather for hiring me to take these shots. I can’t wait to meet your new bundle in 4 weeks.

What to say about the trip of a lifetime. Living smack dab in the middle of Texas has this california girl constantly yearning for the beauty and tranquilty of the ocean.  I was  really starting to grow weary of the dead grass and cold weather that has blanketed Texas this winter. …so  when our friends mentioned they were heading to Turks and Caicos, I knew the LaBiancas had to invite themselves to tag along. Seven days in paradise  was exactly  what the doctor ordered. Don’t get me wrong,  I love Texas and moving here was the best thing we could have ever done for our family ….but  can I just say WOW !!!  Turks and Caicos is by far one of the prettiest places I have ever been to in my life.  The water is such a perfect shade of turquoise – that I don’t even think the masterminds at Crayola could re-create it.  It was hard to put my camera down in fear that I would miss out on something. I was desperate to get out the door first thing in the morning to take advantage of the sunrise and tried to stay out until the sun had set behind the horizon. I tried my hand at night photography with no flash ( which by the way, is really  hard )  and pulled out my speedlight to try sunset photography . 10,000 photos taken in 7 days.  I admit it .. a little overboard – but when there is so much to learn, I knew I just had to keep shooting.  With that said – it is time to start finding balance now that I have learned so much. I need to sit back and breathe again. Enjoy my kids being kids… plan birthday parties instead of planning the birthday party around the lighting. I need  to trust in the snapshots taken on a whim or snapped by friends. I love photography and I knew I had to submerge myself,  but it is time to come up for air. So hello….I am back !!!  Liz LaBianca, wife, mother, aunt, sister, friend and last  but not least, photographer!