I am constantly searching for new locations to keep my work fresh and creative. Alot  of times this means that I have to bring Ms. Em along for the ride. I can use her eyes as I plan out where the lighting is best. This time I had a twinge of guilt – With my son, we did these things to watch the world through his eyes… and now I do these thing because I need help for work. Was I jipping Ms. Em? As I went through the photos I decided  - that even though I was taking her with me on location checks – she was still absorbing all that is new in the world. With excitement she yelled to the ducks – with desire – she gulped down the coca-cola that I brought along as a prop. Does she feel jipped – doesn’t look like it to me.

Well, I just got home from the most amazing trip. When I booked this trip – I was literally shaking in my boots. I prayed that maybe I would get typhoon fever so that I would have to cancel my trip. To say I was scared is an understatement. I am that mom – who NEVER leaves her kids. They are my life – so when my in-laws insisted on coming out to watch the kids so that I could travel to CA to do photo shoots – how could I say NO…. Trust me I tried  more angles then a mathematician. Fortunately I was so busy before my trip that I didn’t have time to worry ( although I still prayed for typhoon fever). This trip was so inspiring for me. It made me feel ALIVE…even if I was afraid. It was hard to go into a shoot with  a creative  design for the shoot – when I was unsure of locations and lighting but in the end – I feel like I captured some of my most favorite photos to date. Here are some of my favorite images.

So despite the tears that started on our way to the airport – they quickly subsided as Emerson started to scream b.c she wanted my phone. A quick reminder why this work trip was desperately needed. As I sit on the plane …one xanax in – I know how good this is for me. Allowing your children to see you follow your dream is a lesson that I never thought I would teach my children. I know that I am fortunate to have a passion that allows me the benefit of making my own schedules, my own boundaries – a passion that lets me to still be hands on with my children. Dan was so excited – yet nervous for me as he gathered up everything that I needed as if he was sending his youngest off to college. I love that about him .His passion is us.. me. He has always said he loved me more than life and not one day have I doubted that.  So the journey begins. My first stop is LA where  I get to shoot my beautiful niece Elle.  Ideas have been brewing and we start our adventure at the Santa Monica Promenade. Los Angeles is my home. It is where I would love to live … if I won the lottery twice. To me it has the perfect mix of diversity. fashion and life. OK the flight attendant is giving me that “look” – the one that says turn off your electric devices… ao ciao for now. MY NEXT ADVENTURE – RENTING  A CAR. It has been 8 years since I did it on my own and I doubt I still have the skills to flirt for the upgrade. … but don’t you know that I am not afraid to ask.

Don’t you know that with all my new found camera knowledge that I was determined to capture those sought after firework shots. So when we were invited to watch the FC Fire game at suite level and to watch the firework show – you know I jumped at the chance. With tri-pod in hand and my settings ready, I started shooting .. and shooting and shooting. The thing about shooting fireworks is that you have to shoot before the firework bursts. So while I knew my settings were perfect – it ended up being all about timing. Here are those Firework shots – and just a few more from that day. HAPPY fourth – Celebrate your independence!!

That bubble would be where I have been since I gave birth to my babies. I have become very complacent with my way of life. I am very happy with how simple my life is.  I don’t have a grass is greener mentality… anywhere my family is and I am happy…perhaps it is because of the struggles it took to get here. With that said – I have never left my children – they pretty much go where we go. I know, I know – all you people in cyberland — hold your judgements – I know how important it is to have alone time .. maybe a girls trip – or a second honeymoon – BUT remember I have a son who has medical needs and to hop on a plane has never been an option for me ….. until now. So here I type – 1 day out from leaving on my first Photo shoot trip. With waves of anxiety (just had one while writing that) – I am afraid to fly (been fearful for as long as I can remember) …xanax should solve that problem. But how to handle missing my kids – that is not something that xanax can take care of. My in-laws  A.K.A the best grandparents EVER will be flying in as I fly out. So I know my kids will be in good … scratch that.. .AMAZING hands.  Hayden and Emerson are pretty independent – so I don’t think that they will pine for me. They actually might not know I am gone for a couple of days. My husband is a 2011 Mr. Mom – so he will be ok…ok now I think I just convinced myself that they might not even miss me.  I kid – I know they will miss me – but I believe they are so confident in my love for them that they know I will be back. So off to CA to do something that will challenge my level of photography. As someone only 9 months in – I still am learning.  Learning about lighting and learning about my camera settings.  I fly into LA and have my first shoot and then head down to good ol’  San Diego  for the remainder of my trip – shooting old friends and family. So I invite you to join me – on this insane ride… filled with ups and downs and a little bit of debt (thanks to my love of props and gear) … learning to balance and learning to allow myself the joy of being more then just a wife and mother to two beautiful kids.

++ on another note – it took me an hour of blowing bubbles before I got this shot… it was the last blow I did…….What we do for a perfect shot.